Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Top ten reasons why gay marriage is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

(Excerpted from the livejournal of Laura Ann Gilman.)

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans


Yes, this is satire,for those of you who didn't catch on.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Today I did something I never do

--well, rarely ever do. I bought myself a gift. And while I feel guilty about having done so--I always do--I will enjoy it. I've wanted a 12 string guitar, probably since I was 12. Today, for no reason in particular, I decided it was time to fulfill that wish. I still can't believe I did it.

It doesn't have the dark mellow tones of a Martin, or the brighter tones of the Larrivee--which I prefer--, but I think the Seagull S12+ is an excellent compromise. So, just this once, I didn't follow the advice my father gave me years ago--I didn't buy the best I could afford. My playing skills and needs simply don't require it. (Besides, I have a camera habit to support.) And I really have no musical talent, I just like to play around. You will never catch me playing for an audience, no matter how small--not willlingly anyway. But the dog and the bird don't seem to mind all my klinkers--they sleep while I play. I'm not certain if that's a compliment or an insult, but I don't really care.

Today I play until my fingers are too sore to touch the strings.